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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

How does this work?

Gopher and I have been continuing weekly visits to one facility. We have a wonderful time and it is almost indescribable the happiness these visits bring us. What is also equally indescribable were the feelings that came upon myself at our last visit.

Gopher had the pleasure of one little boy who had visited him a few times over many weeks. He appeared to really like him that there was a special connection that Gopher had with him not unlike his excitement he has for his Uncle Duck or Aunt Emily. He is a typical Golden who seems to love everyone he meets, but as his handler I can easily see without being anthropomorphic certain special people who bring out something more in his excitement. This was his relationship with this boy.

Now, being in my position I do not have the luxury to ask questions pertaining to the health of any one we may visit, or where they have gone if I don't see them. So when this little boy stopped coming, I presumed he was either getting more treatment or home for some much deserved rest. Then I heard the news and I was awestruck to discover he had lost his fight. He appeared to be doing very well, and honestly it would take a very discerning eye to know he wasn't a typical healthy kid.

Now I have to ask myself how does this work? I did not really know him, but I feel a sense of loss, but not enough to really grieve. When I help Gopher get ready for another visit his image pops into my head. When I can't sleep at night (for other stresses in my life) my mind will wander to him. I have been in a position due to my parents family business that I have seen loss on many occasions, some people I knew well, others only by name and face, but their deaths rather young or older did not leave me with this lasting impression.

There is not a moment when I feel like stopping or not doing this throwing away all we have worked for, but I am left to wonder how long will this last? Will he stick with me for the rest of the time I do this with Gopher? Will it just fade? So does anyone know, how does this work?

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